Friday, October 14, 2011

Entry 6- 11.5.11

Dear Journal,

I was hanging out with a friend today and we were talking about our friends, including one that we used to have (let's say her name is Jane). Jane was a typical teen girl; was extremely popular, played basketball, and her family was one of the richer ones in our area, so on ad so forth. She was a really great friend at first; when I first moved to that school, she showed me around campus, took me to classes, sat with me during lunch, made sure that I made friends; we soon became very close because of her kind ways.  So, when Jane started telling me things, such as that she was born with a severe hip problem that made her have to go into surgery right after her birth and that she once had a mild form of cancer that was very likely to come back, I really believed her, I mean, why shouldn't I have? Little did I know that all of these things were complete lies. In fact, once I started to discover these little lies that she started telling, I discovered that much of our relationship was based on lies. I wasn't the only one to find out, and as more and more of her friends learned about  her lying habit, they began to leave her, one by one. Soon she was left with no friends at all; the same lies that she used to get friends were making her lose them. Jane then apologized for her actions and returned to her sweet ways. Many of us were skeptical, but, in the end, went back to her; many, not including me. It really didn't feel good to know that I couldn't trust who I once thought was my best friend, and so I wanted to wait back and see how this was going to play out. Anyhow, things were going great, I guess, until she brought up something very interesting one day after school: "My grandmother is deathly ill and we're not sure she's gonna live." This story got her a lot of sympathy, but I think that I was the only one that noticed that her grandmother looked very healthy when she came to pick Jane up.  Granted, I left it alone, but things just continued to get worse, from stories of adoption, physical and mental abuse from her parents, other birth defects that she had, I mean the list goes on and on. She once again lost all of her friends, and, like before, apologized and went back to her old self shortly. Jane continues to carry on with her "white lies", as my friends and I call it (even though some are so seriously large that they look like a T-Rex dressed in white), and therefore, she's always in and out of friendships. Why did I tell you this drawn out story about Jane? Because I wanted to show you guys something that makes friendships what they are: honesty. You CAN'T base a friendship off of untruths; it's just not possible. As you could see in what I just told you, when your friends can't trust a word that comes out of your mouth, it not only makes you feel bad, but them, too. Now, I really do think that Jane has problems, not necessarily cancer or an abusive family, but maybe even a psychological issue. I don't really know, but I was just thinking about her and feeling bad for her because she will never have a stable relationship (be it with her friends, family, or even a boyfriend) because of her lies. If you see some of yourself in her because you lie to look better, get attention, or to hide something that you're not proud of, you should really take these words to heart. This is how everyone around you will view you when you're not honest, and I can guarantee that the guilt that you will feel will override anything that you are trying to accomplish. If you are like me and your friend is having trouble telling the truth, tell them how you feel, and help them to change, be their confidant who they can be honest to, no matter how painful the truth is, and encourage your friends to do the same. Jane and I aren't friends anymore, but I wish that instead of writing this here, that I wrote it to her, or told her that she needed to change. Maybe that would have helped her to make better decisions with what she says to people to where they can learn to trust her and build a healthy friendship with her. I truly think that that's all she needs; a good friend. Well, I hope you guys were able to take something from this post and I wish you all the best!

Love Always <3,
Katrina Lowell
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