Monday, October 3, 2011

Entry 4- 11.2.11

Dear Journal,

We all have those friends who have stuck with us for what feels like forever. Amber White, who you might know as my really talented friend who writes poems on my blog, has been my BFFL for nearly six years. While that might not seem like a long time, you might remember that in my last post, I told you about the few times that I have moved and how I am moving to another country soon. Right now, we are over seven hours away from each other and the last time we saw each other was nearly two years ago, but we are still really close. You know why? Because we have learned how to maintain a friendship. I remember when we first met at a party that my mom put together. Amber was my mom's co-worker's daughter, and from that first introduction, we just clicked. After that, we started having sleep overs nearly every week and  were inseparable. When I moved the first time, we were sad, but we started sending letters and little trinkets to each other. As we got older, it became phone calls very often, and now, it's phone calls every day. I don't know what I would do without Amber, she's the best friend that I've ever had, and possibly will ever have. I told you this story because my topic of today is up-keeping friendships. Friendships tend to come and go, but when you find that one person that makes you feel good all the time, (and vice versa) it's really important to try and keep them close. Now i'm not saying that if things aren't working and you don't seem to get along anymore, that you should continue being friends, but I know that whenever Amber and I have disagreements, we can't stay mad at each other FOREVER because we both value our friendship more than whatever we are arguing about; that's what true friends do. Part of that is communication; we are extremely honest with each other, even when the topic may seem confrontational. In fact, I don't think that there is ANYTHING that we don't know about each other, or have kept from each other. That way we can work things out through conversation, and not conflict. Another thing that's important for you to remember is that girls need space. When girls spend every waking moment with each other, they tend to get irritable and snap at each other. I don't know why that is, but it is. Amber and I had a ten-day visit at my house one time, and after about the third day, we wanted to throttle each other. Looking back at it, the things that we were arguing about were really pathetic, but what we did to just calm down was to sit in opposite sides of the room and read a book. After about an hour, we would say our apologies and move on; that helped us out quite a bit. One last thing that you might want to consider is change; change happens to everyone, be it growth, personality, friends, moves, you name it. That being said, I can tell that what made Amber and I such great friends at the beginning may have changed, and so then our friendship changes as well. We are still the VERY best of friends, but the fact that we've got two different types of environments, cliques, styles, etc., we are now very different. What you have to do, in that situation, is adjust. This brings us back to talking; just talk about it. Me, I don't typically like change, and so lately some of the changes that my friend has made have sorta "bothered me", for lack of a better term. So, what I do is tell her about it and we talk it out. That doesn't mean that I like it, but at least I can understand and accept it, and I'm sure that the same could be said about me. These type of friendships should be cherished; they seem to be very rare nowadays. Therefore, take some of these points into consideration, and I'm sure that they will help to strengthen/ up keep your relationship(s) with your BFFL(s).

Love Always <3,
Katrina Lowell
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