Ask Katrina... "Is That Really Love?"

Okay, so this is a new part of my blog called "Ask Katrina." Ask Katrina has been inspired by specific questions brought up by my close friends, ones that probably wont be covered by "Journal Of Our Generation" (which will be back up in the next post, so stay tuned ;)). These may be important to the inquirer, or even my other readers that are able to relate. I want this to expand beyond my personal friends, but to you guys, my international friends, out there. Ask anything and I'll answer to the best of my ability, unbiased and without judgement. You will be made anonymous under a given name, like I usually do, so you won't be recognized by anyone; we can keep it between us :). All you have to do is leave a comment under ANY post with your question. It goes into my inbox where I can read it without posting it to the blog, so only I can see it, no worries.

Now, I'm no Dr. Phil and I'm not the most experienced person, but I take time to evaluate things by looking at the pros and cons of every situation, so whether I've been in the same position or not, I can help you to make a decision that's good either way. That's how it is with my first question:

"Hey Katrina. So here's my problem; My boyfriend and I recently got into an argument because of boundaries. He invited me to a late night movie along with some other friends, but not only would I have to sneak out, but my parents don't want me going out with him when they aren't around. I chose to stay home and since then, about a week now, he's been avoiding me and ignoring my texts and phone calls. Chris* (my boyfriend) is upset because he thinks that if we are in a relationship that we should be sacrificing boundaries for each other, but is that really love? Please help, me Katrina....
Sincerely,
Julia*"

Okay, so I thought long and hard about this one because I didn't really know what to say. I mean, as you guys know, I have never been in a relationship and probably wont be for a few more years, so I'm typically not an advice giver when it comes to this topic, but you know what? Maybe I do have a few things to say...

Okay, Julia. So I hear what your saying and I completely agree with you as to having boundaries for yourself and not wanting to disappoint your parents. My parents always tell me, "You slip you slide," meaning that once I break their trust that it will be a loooonnnnngggg process trying to get it back. It's almost like working hard to rake up 47 acres of land covered in 7 inches of leaves into a neat pile and then having a great gust of wind just scatter it out everywhere. Therefore, I applaud you for making the decision to stay home instead of going and taking that risk. I'm going to be honest; It isn't love, and I'll explain why.

 Dictionary.com refers to love as being a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. That being said, it obviously doesn't spell out love word for word since it applies to different people in different ways, but it sure does help. I personally think that if you honestly care about someone then you accept them for who they are; I mean, you won't agree on everything, but you know what? You respect their boundaries. For instance, my friends and I love each other dearly. I'm sure having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is different, but I'm sure not too much. Anyhow, yeah, my friends and I don't always get along. Maybe they made an offensive comment, or vice versa. Maybe they did something that I didn't agree with. Maybe they insist on pushing me to do something that I'm not comfortable doing, so in the end, we could end up not communicating for a few days. But let me tell you something; if I really want to continue the friendship because the person is important to me, as important as I claim they are, then I will suck it up and accept that what happened can be squashed. Now, I'm not saying that if the act was truly, unforgivably offensive to you to just ignore it, but what I am saying is that Chris needs to understand that sneaking out isn't what you want to do and in the end to just move on with it.

Beyond even that, I don't think that he should be ignoring you. People who care about each other try to work things out, and the best way to do that is through communication; it really is. I don't want to be biased, however, so maybe I should put myself in Chris' eyes. Maybe he was disappointed that he wasn't able to spend time with you that night, to go and see a movie with you, and so he's just blowing off steam. Sure, maybe. He might even feel uncomfortable with your parents everywhere you guys go and might be trying to get quality time, just the two of you. I don't know because, at the end of the day, none of those things could make me so upset that I treat someone so special to me like he has treated you, but I'm not Chris, you know? So I really don't know where he's coming from, but my point is that maybe both you and I are missing the real problem that Chris is having with the situation. Maybe you need to give it some time until he comes around and lets you know  how he feels and move from there.

Now, if Chris' problem is really that you wouldn't go against your parents' requests, then you need to have a discussion with him. There's nothing wrong with telling him no; telling him that you refuse to go against what you believe in, whether he likes it or not. If it were me, I would give him an ultimatum. Tell Chris, "You know what? If you don't like it, then maybe you need to move on." I can understand that the chance of him saying, "Fine. We're done" could be heart breaking, but think about it; who do you love more? Your parents that have always loved you, despite anything that you've done; they give you whatever you need/want and they will ALWAYS care for you or the boyfriend that loves you now, but you're not certain will love you later, the one that makes you feel guilty for making a decision that is good enough for you but not for him? I mean, is it really worth the risk of losing their trust to maintain you guys' relationship? Think about it.

So, you know what? I believe in the saying "If you don't stand for something, you'll stand for anything." It really is true, I mean, today it's sneaking out to go to a movie. What's next? Asking you to go to a party that you know is going to have illegal drug usage and liquor? You never know, so it's always better to be safe than sorry. Therefore, what Chris says about sacrificing boundaries that you have put up (ultimately to protect yourself from due harm) is complete rubbish; that is NOT what love really is, Julia.

I hope that I was able to help you with your dilemma and I wish you all the luck with Chris. As I said earlier, maybe both of us are way off and he's really upset about something else, so don't go flying up to him, accusing him of anything without knowing what's really going on; and even then, it's always best to approach situations in a calm manner and with an open mind.

Well, that's been Ask Katrina. Thanks for reading! Remember, you can ask me your OWN questions and I just might choose to answer it on the blog...

Love Always <3,
Katrina Lowell

*The names in this post have been changed from the original ones given to me in the question upon the inquirer's request.

ZZ Ward... I Stand Corrected!

Okay Readers,

Now ZZ Ward appeared on my blog sometime this week in a Music Daily post called 7.19.12- ZZ Ward "'Til The Casket Drops". I explained how much I love her voice and her song and how talented she was, but I did criticize her music video skills. I figured that since she was so used to performing with a guitar and on a stage and not being staged on a set, that that was why she was so awkward doing music videos. Therefore, I figured that most of her videos would be the same bad outcome, but she surprised me. I saw a video of a song called "Better Off Dead" from her Eleven Roses mixtape and I was stunned. It's a simple, obviously low cost, music video but it was entertaining and just an altogether good job. 

Therefore, I want to apologize to ZZ Ward and show you guys how great she is in her "Better Off Dead" music video, so here you go. Enjoy!

Love Always <3,
Katrina Lowell

7.23.12- Justin Bieber "Boyfriend"

Hey Guys,

No, I just couldn't resist. I mean, how come Justin Bieber hasn't made it to my blog yet? Here's where I have to break the news; I'm a BELIEBER! Yes I am, Justin Foreva!

This song is just... amazing to me. It's a great transition into his puberty sound. I mean, we all remember "One Time" and "One Less Lonely Girl" where his hair was long, he was short, and his voice was cute. But now, Justin isn't cute; he's SWAG! He even admits it in most of the song. You know, where he goes, "I got money in my hand that I'd really like to blow- swag, swag, swag- on you." It's just all so awesome :D.

I don't get why everyone wants to hate on Biebs. I know that he has a cutesy look to him, like a little boy and his voice is getting there, but that doesn't make him a girl, ya know; In that case, about one in three boys that you know are all girls. I'm sure you still view them as boys, so don't hate.

I'm not gonna be biased for this blog. I'm going to be objective and I will say that Justin is over-rated; he is. He's not god, I'll tell you that, so when fellow teenage girls come around crying at the sight of him... well, I shake my head. You'd swear he promised to resurrect their long lost dog or something. NO! HE IS A SINGER (a rather good looking one at that), NOT OUR SAVIOR. Chillax, as I like to say it.

Anyhow, I like this song a lot. The lyrics should speak to most guys; Justin even admits it himself. This song is like a "Boyfriend For Dummies" manual, telling them everything that good boyfriends should do. Now, don't get me wrong; I'm not one to give advice since I've never had a boyfriend, so hey! I could be wrong, but when I think about a good boyfriend figure, I would sum them up with this song.

To top it off, the music video is... oh so cool. He has a nice car, nice clothes, and just an altogether cool atmosphere for a music video. I love it <3 :).

Once again, don't hate; appreciate... hey, even the whales enjoy this song ;].

Love Always <3,
Katrina Lowell

Beautiful- Chapter 8

I ran to the door, irritated as ever. I mean, you'd swear the kid got a hint, but calling me and then on top of it,  following me to my house?; I was livid! I angrily opened the door, ready to argue once again, but then I saw who it was; my dad.

"Hey kiddo. What's wrong with you?" My dad leaned against the door frame with a suspicious look on his face. I took a deep breath and tried to come up with a reasonable explanation for the mood that I was in besides telling him, "Yeah, I snuck out with this ex- druggie after school and we went to the park and I almost kissed him and then his girlfriend called and I spazzed out and then I stomped home and he called me and so I'm pissed." So I put on a more innocent face and said, "Oh, you know how those animal abuse ads get me. I'm just so angry at the... ill-treatment of that poor cat named... named uh, oh! Sally."My dad chuckled and shook his head. "Well, hun, get some sleep. Did you have dinner?" 
"No, but I kinda lost my appetite, so if anything, I'll make some toast." I smiled at my dad and he did his little "If you need anything, call me" speech before he got back into his cop car and sped down the road.

I locked back the door, ironed my clothes, took a long shower and went straight into my bed. Granted I lay there for a good hour before I actually fell asleep, thinking about what I was going to do tomorrow. I finally decided that he and I started too fast and that maybe we need to abolish those feeling that we created that night and just continue being friends, just like how we said we were going to be on the play set. Friends. Yep, that's just what we were going to be. The reality hurt, but in the end, I fell asleep and dreamed of us, holding hands the way we were and staring into a star dotted sky. It was obvious to me that "friendship" was going to be a little harder to acknowledge.

***

The next day Van came to my house early, waking me up actually. My mom wasn't there, so she either had a really long night or she left home early as well. I dragged myself out of bed and opened the door. There was Van, but this time she dragged in a mutt; Tony.

"What the heck, Van. You had to bring this loser to my house?" I grumbled. Tony walked in and gave me a cup of Starbucks coffee.

"Well, good morning to you, too. Van told me that you liked Starbucks, so on my way over to her house this morning, I stopped in and got everyone a cup." Then he winked at me and dropped his arrogant behind into one of our leather couches. I was honestly too tired to care.

"Okay, Kat. Come with me; I've gotta tell you something!" I then noticed that Van seemed a little brighter that morning. Instead of black eye shadow, she had a really nice green that complemented her green eyes. Then instead of her black studded combat boots, she was wearing a pair of blue converse. She was also wearing a pair of green skinny jeans and a white t-shirt with black writing that said "I <3 my BF :)." It was so disgusting how cute she looked. Before I could ask her why she was so... different this morning, she screamed "TONY ASKED ME OUT TO THE SCHOOL DANCE. AHHHHHH!!!!!" I stood there and cringed because hearing a teenage girl scream at the top of her lungs when you're half asleep is like getting teeth pulled without pain blockers; not cool. She started to go on and on about how he took her here and there and then gave her this and said that and then she said yes and blah. Blah. Blah. In the time that it took her to finish telling me this story, I had already put on my clothes, brushed my teeth and packed my bag for school. My phone beeped, so I took a quick glance and it read "9 messages from: Brey." I sighed, but took a look at the last one he sent which said, "Katrina, please at least meet me on the Grannel Street by the big Oak tree. I bought you something." I stared at it for a while and then replied with one word; "Fine." 

I had hardly remembered that Van was right behind me, talking about something, until she asked, "Isn't that great, Kat!" She gave me a big hug. "Oh, yeah, sure. Fantastic." Then she put on her usual big grin and held my hand like we were little second graders. Tony was now in my kitchen eating poptarts. "Okay, so are the girls ready?" I ignored him and pulled my backpack over my left shoulder and started putting on my purple and white zebra converse. Van opened the door and that's when I saw her outfit again.

"Van; is there any reason why you're dressed like a daffodil today? I mean, what happened?" She laughed and looked down at her outfit. Tony wrapped his arm around her waist and took a bite out of his Poptart.
"She's hot, uh?" He nearly choked on his crumbs as he said it. Van pat him on the back and walked up to me as I got up. She whispered in my ear, saying "Well, I wanted to look extra pretty for Tony today, so I said 'What The Heck!' let's try a new look Vanessa."

I was just turning around to lock the door and I almost dropped the keys. Within a matter of seconds, I grabbed Van, opened the door, dragged her in and rand behind her and locked Tony out. She looked at me like I was crazy. "What did you just call yourself?" I was so confused. I mean, was Tony drugging her or something, trying to now change her into a... a monster?
"Vanessa..." She sat down on the couch chair arm. I heard Tony bang on the door, upset that we were leaving him out.
"Van, what's gotten into you. I mean, in a matter of days you've changed. To be honest, I miss you the way you were before Tony." She got up, looking offended. Then she smirked and got close to me.
"I think you're jealous that you don't have Tony. Maybe he was right all along." I was confused.
"Right about what?" She shook her head.
"Tony tells me that you were madly in love with him and that you were always slipping love notes into his locker and trying to get with him, but when he chose me over you, you flipped out." I laughed, astonished at how big of a lie that was.
"Get out, 'Vanessa.'" I opened the door. She smirked.
"Yep he was right. I can't believe you. I thought you were my best fri-"
"Van, I rejected him, okay? He was obsessed with me and when I finally put him down he ran after you out of spite, so just leave it alone." I ran out the door and that's when I got the flashback...

***

I was back in the school gym and there was this eerie feeling that I wasn't alone. Just then I saw a figure sitting on one of the school bleachers, fiddling through their backpack after a basketball practice. As I got closer, I made out a girl; Katrina. I gasped and stood as still as ever. I walked a little closer, when the gymnasium door opened and Tony, about a year younger than he was now, ran in and sat down right next to me. Not the me that was watching all of this, but the other one. I sat quietly and listened in on their conversation;

"Hey Kitty-Kat Trina" Tony laughed at put his arm around my neck.

"What do you want, Tony. I'm getting ready to go home." He looked at me and kissed me, right there without asking questions or anything. I got up and wiped my mouth. My eyes started to fill with hot tears, tears of anger. 

"Why, Tony!" I got up and ran out of the gym. Myself now, I got up from my hiding spot and looked hard at Tony. He yelled my name, but then threw himself down on the bleachers and sat there, rubbing the back of his head, obviously disappointed in himself, but I didn't really care. I ran at him and slapped him as hard as I could, but then he disappeared and I was back on my street, my hand stinging and hot with pain.

***

Van ran off with Tony back to her house to go ice his face since I apparently slapped him extremely hard. She started crying and screaming at me, telling me that we were done being best friends and that I was a horrible person. I felt really bad, surprisingly. Usually I feel like justice was finally served and that I was on top, but this time it cost me my best friend and I didn't know what to do. 

I didn't realize how long I was just there, standing outside my house, staring down the road that Van and Tony went down. I didn't realize until I saw Brey walking up the same road.



STAY TUNED FOR MORE CHAPTERS BEING POSTED!


Love Always <3,

Katrina Lowell

7.19.12- ZZ Ward "'Til The Casket Drops"

Hey Viewers,

So today I will do a song that I have recently fell in love with. It's called "'Til the Casket Drops" by ZZ Ward, and most of you know this song from "Pretty Little Liars."

I don't watch "Pretty Little Liars" (because it's just not my type of show, you know? No sort of... substance in my eyes), but my cousin, Melissa, does, so she introduced it to me. It was initially just to sing for an audition I have in a couple of months, but it quickly became a favorite of mine.

Now, I'm always telling you guys about how important the depth of lyrics are to me and so this song is perfect. She explains that it's about loving someone so much that you would die for them, and the lyrics speak to it so well. Besides that, her vocals are... so amazingly controlled. If I could change one thing about her voice it would be her diction; sometimes her words get slurred, and I'm a singer in a similar genre, so I understand how it happens and how hard it is to refine it. Sometimes you don't even realize that what you just said barely makes sense to everyone else around you, but to me it adds "flavor" to her songs, but I'm sure that if she had better pronunciation of some of her words, it would be flawless.

The music video isn't one that I love too much, so that's why I'm going to put both a live version and the music video. ZZ Ward seems to me to be more of a coffee shop singer in that a guitar and a stool is how she usually performs, but in the music video, she was deprived of both for much of the time, so when she wasn't strumming her guitar, she was standing there awkwardly and she kept bending her knees inward at an odd angle and... it was almost as if she was uncomfortable; and you know what? I think she was; she didn't look in her element at all, but I love her, so I give her an A for effort. Besides all that, though, the "Pretty Little Liars" cut scenes were not pleasing to me at all, since of course I hate the show...

Anyhow, yep, I really couldn't wait to get this song on the blog, so here it is!

Love Always <3,
Katrina Lowell

Facebook Memes

Hey Readers <3,

Okay, so I don't have a Facebook, as many of ya'll know but my cousins who do have Facebooks have introduced me to Facebook memes and I am in love.

Facebook memes are faces that are placed into often rhetorical cartoons that make them funny without reason. I am obsessed. Maybe you see in my last post that I used the "You Don't Say" face, one of my favorites. In this post, I'll take you through a few of my favorite Facebook Meme cartoons, some of which you might know yourselves.

1. Me Gusta- If you've ever taken Spanish, you;d know that this means "I like". So therefore, these cartoons are mainly about stupid things that happen in everyday life that you thought you were the only person who got tickled pink by, but obviously not. For example, one that I did just today...



2. No. Rage Face- This is the face that reminds me of just every stubborn person you know that insists on saying no to anything that you request. This following one is my favorite because I remember "Blue's Clues" back in the day and getting irritated when the new guy butt in and made me somewhat hate the show. LOL...



3. You Don't Say- The "You Don't Say" face is one of my all time favorites. I mean, it's exactly what I'm always telling people when they speak the obvious like, "Did you know that the sun is a huge ball of heated gasses and light and stuff?" Then I would express a look of surprise and say "Ya Don't Say!" Look at this one...



4. OMG Face- This is one of the funniest to look at. It expresses just what it's called... OMG! Like when someone says "MAD on Cartoon Network was taking advantage of Kermit the Frog" and I would totally freak out and never watch MAD again (as I don't do anymore because of the Kermit the frog situation), ending it off with an OMG face...



5. Not Bad- For all of you Obama fans like Muah, this is hilarious. It just makes him a lot cooler in my face. I mean, even Michelle has a "Not Bad" face... it's pretty impressive...



6. He Will Never Have A Girlfriend- I think that this face is funny just because we all find ourselves sitting down in front of the TV, looking at these weird looking dudes saying "Yeah, no. He's hideous. Forever Alone." LMBO!



Anyhow, I've got a little brother that likes to latch onto me like a leech, so now that he's seen me blogging about the Facebook memes, he's about to take over this computer and freak out over them. LITTLE BROTHERS!!!!!! (Rage Face). Anyhow, see you later.

Love Always <3,
Katrina Lowell

I'm On Vaca, Yo!

Hey Readers :D,

Guess what? I'm on vacation! I know most of ya'll are going

 

but what I'm really happy about is that  I'll be able to be out of the island for a little bit. I am now back in the USA and it feels AMAZING! I need some McDonalds, Burger King, DQ, IHop, you know all of the best eateries in the WORLD.

Anyhow, besides that, I will be able to blog every day of it. In fact, I'm looking at making a vacation diary for the blog so that you guys can hear about every day's experience. I am looking forward to theme parks, American food, and family. I'm staying at my grandma's house and I love it. She has an amazing view and the neighborhood is just nice and quiet. Besides that I have a couple aunts living here, one of which has two older children, Let's call them Marcus and Melissa.

I love Melissa. I mean, she's like an adult kid and we just love spending time together and getting to just hang out like we used to. Now Marcus... he's another story. I mean, he's only a few years older than me but acts like my dad sometimes. "Katrina, stay out of my room!", "Katrina, stop being so annoying!", "Katrina, don't talk to me like that!","Katrina, don't eat my Jimmy Deans'", "Katrina!!!!" Some of my more committed readers might remember a description of my cousin in the Bad Boys >:|. He hasn't changed much, so. I mean, sure he's a little less bossy and we can actually sit and enjoy each other's company, but he still treats his sister Melissa like crap and he's still got his arrogant tendencies. Besides that, I'm happy to be back and enjoying my family.

Anyhow, I've gotta run because I would LOVE to start on the next chapter of "Beautiful" before the night falls. I want you all to H.A.G.S. (have a great summer) and keep reading everyday and take the trip along with me :).

Love Always <3,
Katrina Lowell

7.8.11- Paramore "Playing God"

Hey Guys,

I just couldn't resist bringing back all the old blog sections, like "Journal of our Generation" and "Music Daily." Haven't you missed them? Anyhow, I wanted to kick things off with a song like "Playing God." This song  is so strong and kick- butt.

I love this song because it says everything that you could ever want to tell that one person that is always getting on you, putting you down, pointing out the small things in order to change you into who they want you to be. I think that everyone can relate to that one person and so I thought that this song was brilliant.

Yes, it's amazing, but here's where it gets a little... shameful; the song was written for Haley Williams' mom. Ouch! I mean, I could have sworn that she was talking about TMZ or some sort of person from the recording company that she works for, the people who are always nagging at her, telling her to change, but your mom? Maybe I can relate sometimes when I wish my mom would stop telling me that my clothes don't look good, or my style of hair looks wacky or something, but I understand that it's not out of malice, but honest concern. I know that some of my friends might say this to their moms, though, but maybe their situations have become so frustrating that the song truly fits there. Like, for instance, I had a friend a while back whose mom had them on an insane schedule; in one week, they practiced swimming, gymnastics, piano, dance, acting classes, modelling, etc. To top it off, they don't want to do all of these things, but I even witnessed the girl tell her mom that she really didn't enjoy doing these activities and her mom looked her in the eyes and said, "I honestly DO NOT CARE, you're going and that's final." Hey, to each their own, but if it were me in that situation, I wouldn't be able to be passive and work my butt off doing things that I really don't like to do.

The song, otherwise, has that rock edge and the music video is oh so funny. It reminds me of that TV show "Criminal Minds" where you find that peculiar serial killer who drugs people and ties them up in their garage, very like Haley Williams (LOL).

Well, I hope you enjoy the song, but not enough to go tell your mom to sit and listen carefully to it; that would be a HORRIBLE idea, okay guys. Be respectful to your parents :). Love ya mom ;)

Love Always <3,
Katrina Lowell