"Once again, Mrs. Brittington, I am so sorry for my daughter's behavior. We are going to have a long talk tonight." As my mom said that last bit, she clenched her teeth and shot me a devil's glare. I smiled and mouthed the words "I love you", trying to smooth things over. I guess it didn't work because as she got off the phone, she lunged at me. "Katrina Dawn Lowell, I'm gonna THROTTLE YOU!" I ran into the bathroom and locked myself in. "Katrina, open this door, NOW, or else you're REALLY gonna get in trouble." I hesitated, but slowly opened the door. My mom looked furious, with her arms folded and her foot tapping. "What happened today?" I looked away from her and tried to avoid the question, but she knew better than that. "NOW."
"I tried to choke Jenny, OK? Happy now?"
"Of course I'm not happy. Why on earth would you do that to her?"
"You know Jenny. She hates me..."
"So you choke her? Like, tell me what in your head tells you that wrapping your hands around her neck is going to stop her from hating you?" I looked away again. I didn't want to have to explain to her what happens because she just wouldn't get it, but she wouldn't take silence as an answer. "When she told me that- that I was a 'waste of air', I just get this feeling inside, like deja vu, and then I black out. The last thing that I remember was her coughing and Coach Hubbert dragging me to the principals office." My mom took a second to let everything register. "So what you're saying is that you feel like you've been there before, getting called a certain name, and hen you sorta 'go crazy'? What exactly did you remember."
"Well, I guess when she told me that, I got transported to another world sort of."
I was back in Rockford Elementary School, and there were a bunch of kids running around, laughing, playing on the playground. And then there was a little girl on the top of the play structure who was crying, surrounded by other girls. When I listened closer, I heard what they were saying. "You shouldn't even be alive" and "You're so ugly that you're parents probably don't even want you." The girl was screaming out for help, but it was as if I was the only one that heard her. I started to run towards her, up the stairs of the play structure, and just as I reached the top, I heard one of them say "You're just a waste of air," and then the girls vanished. All that was left was the little girl who had turned away from me, crying. I touched her shoulder and asked if she was OK. She turned around and wiped away her tears, "Yeah, I'll be OK. Thanks for helping me, though." Then, as she managed a smile, she became very familiar. Then she reached out her hand and said, "I'm Katrina, Just like you."
"...and at that moment, I 'woke up' so to speak." My mom was pacing back and forth, and then she picked up her bag and car keys. "I've gotta go back to work, but you stay here," and then, she just glanced back at me and left. I went to my bedroom and dropped myself down onto my bed. So much for that...
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Love Always <3,