Thursday, April 26, 2012

Opposition

Hey guys,

So I just wanted to touch on a topic that has recently become an issue for me personally. Opposition is pretty much when people oppose you or go against you, be it for a good reason or bad. I feel that within the last two weeks I have felt this more than anything.

So I became form captain, the same role as the girl that I described a lot earlier in my posts were she was an annoying girl that told people what to do? Yeah, that's me. Now, this was my goal for the entire year, so I was ecstatic that I was chosen for the role and whatnot. Now, I am to be a role model and a supervisor; do what the school rules say and encourage the others to do the same. Simple, eh? Well not really. Everyone was upset at the fact that I became form captain for whatever reason, and so I immediately got the whole "I don't have to listen to you" attitude from everyone, but I stayed respectful in saying "please do what the school rules ask and nothing else." Simple and sweet. Anyhow, this went on for about a week with the opposition getting progressively worse. People who got into trouble or that I spoke to would curse me, bump me with their shoulders, slam doors in my face, take things off of my desk, yell at me and altogether disrespect me behind my back. Here's the thing; the two main people doing this were the two people that I held so dear to me as friends. Remember Tony? Yep, he was a main contributor to the ill treatment that I got as well as a girl named Miranda, a very close "friend" of mine. 

Miranda started acting up by giving me unnecessary attitude towards any sort of helpful direction that I gave her and up to about last week, I even treated her with more respect than many others because I felt that as my friend she would have my back; wrong. I even overheard her calling me curse words with Tony and some other  classmates, the utmost disrespect. Therefore, I did something that I thought I would share with you all. I know myself better than anyone else, so I knew that if I needed to address anything with her that my frustration, hurt, and anger that I had bottled up inside might explode on her if she said anything to irritate me, so I simply calmed down by writing down my feelings in a letter format to her using calm and reasonable words. I remember it saying that I didn't respect the way that I was being treated because I felt that she was being selfish, disrespectful, and altogether a terrible friend. Therefore, I wanted to discontinue the friendship and that I would rather her not contact me via e-mail, telephone, or any other media. When I was done I felt that what I wrote was well-enough said that I could give it to her. I'm not sure if it was a mistake or not; in fact, it was sort of my test to her, but she didn't know it. 

I am a very good friend, and so I put myself in my friends' shoes, trying to see if they are truly good a friend as I am. In giving her this letter, I expected a few things. For instance, if it were me and I truly valued this person, I would feel disturbed that the person felt hurt in any way by my actions. If I knew that I was harsh, then I would think it over within myself and if I didn't know what it was, then I would go and ask in a polite way to talk about it, to see if anything was misunderstood. Then the first thing I would do is apologize and sure, in a heated moment like that, I might get brushed off, but I would ask to talk about it in a calm way, when things cool down. In all, that  is the responsible thing to do, right? But let's look at Miranda's response to this situation.

Miranda came straight to my desk and said, "Katrina, I'm not being disrespectful; I'm just speaking my mind and you can't handle that. Everyone here thinks that you've been a real [expletive] and I'm starting to be in agreement." To that I responded, "and that is why I want us to discontinue this because the same way you are talking to me now is not okay with me. I don't appreciate it, Miranda." With that she stormed off and acted like it never happened. Have you made the comparison yet?

Tony is another one; at the end of the day, he's a 6 foot teenage boy so certain things, like cussing me and making physical contact, be it a bump to the arm or a slam of a door directly in my face, shows an amazing amount of disrespect for females. You would swear that I got into something with his mother; he was so intense over nothing! Anyways, my dad noticed this and nipped it in the bud by having a discussion with one of his parents. During this time, he told me with many people around, "If your dad does anything stupid, I'm going to curse at him." I was appalled, so I told my dad, warning him to watch certain things. Being very upset at the comment, my dad brought it up with his parent and to this, Tony blatantly lied with his mother right there. "Oh no, Mr. Lowell; I would never do such a thing!" When in reality, Tony is just a big fat liar. 

As you can see, I have witnessed the true colors of these two individuals and while I valued their friendship, I value respect a lot more.When you do some of the things as I have described, it shows me that I don't mean anything to you and that hurts me deep, deep down in my heart. I have no desire to reconcile a friendship or even an acquaintance sort of relationship with either of them; I feel that they have crossed my line of what is right and what is wrong. And those of you who know me on a personal level, this is not "my side of the story," but rather a lesson learned that I'd like to share with you. A lesson in dealing with opposition, be it the lowest points or the points of triumph. When you feel like you're all alone and nobody cares enough to lend you an ear because their egos are too dang big that they get in the way. But it doesn't end there; this is only part one of my story. Say tuned for more within this week and if you know how I feel, stay strong; I've been having to do a lot of that recently.

Love Always <3,
Katrina Lowell 
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