Friday, April 4, 2014

The Best and Worst of 2013 in Music According To Katrina; Dance Tracks

Hey Readers,

So I can easily say that the music scene has changed quite a bit this year and I was there every step of the way. Do I think that it changed for the best? Not necessarily; I mean, besides the obsession with Twerking, Miley Cyrus, and the correlation between the two, there were so many songs that were just so... bleh. However, a few lyricists have risen out of the rubble and drawn my attention. At any rate, although its well into 2014, I'd like to introduce to you "The Best and Worst of 2013 in Music According To Katrina."

DANCE TRACKS

So you guys know my take on dance tracks- I think that it's possible to join quality lyrics, vocal ability AND a strong bassline to create an incredibly amazing song to rave to. However, I think that maybe I'm the only person out there that thinks so. I mean... nowadays you have the WORST LYRICS EVER to a really sweet track and they put it out there to be played on the radio and in clubs obviously desensitizing us to what is ridiculous. So yeah- I have quite a few selections that I think either did a good job at balancing when it came to the top three elements of a song that I pay attention to or were just so hype that I had to admit that despite the crap lines, it was beast.

1. #SELFIE By The Chainsmokers
.____. Although this song was released this year, it was recorded last year and it's just worthy of the disgrace I'm about to give it. Who in the world came up with this song? Like yes- sometimes you just want a song to laugh at but this was just so bad that it was painful! And to top it off, all of my friends say that I talk like the girl in the song. I can't take it. It's just next level bad. Plus- does anyone realize how this just completely masticates and swallows our WHOLE generation in three minutes and fourty-three seconds? Look at the title of my blog- "Katrina Lowell- The Blog of our GENERATIONNNNNNN". Like what the hell. Now my parents hear that song and look at me with that "I told you so" look on their faces; I've been trying to convince them that our generation isn't all that bad- like we're bad but hey; back in my parents' day, they wore their clothes back-to-front like Kris Kross. Now they hear that song and they say, "ohhh, not only are they retarded, but they're brain dead and stupid, too." I can't even comment on the redundancy of their comments because that song was repetitively giving us a bad name.

You know it's bad when Katrina brings up the lyrics but I just need to do this- I can't help myself.

                                                                         "#SELFIE"


When Jason was at the table
I kept on seeing him look at me while he was with that other girl
Do you think he was just doing that to make me jealous?
(And the superficiality surfaces...)
Because he was totally texting me all night last night
and I don't know if it's a booty call or not
So... like what do you think?
(LOL you REALLY wanna know what I think? I think you're a dunce tbh)
Did you think that girl was pretty?
How did that girl even get in here?
Do you see her?
She's so short and that dress is so tacky
Who wears Cheetah?
(At 5'4 and a lover of animal prints I take STRONG offence. Like what's wrong with being short and appreciating the occasional African theme?)
It's not even summer, why does the DJ keep on playing "Summertime Sadness"?
(This... well you know... I kind of agree :/ Please don't judge me)
After we go to the bathroom, can we go smoke a cigarette?
I really need one
(But I don't think you want gingivitis, lung cancer, heart disease...)
But first,
LET ME TAKE A SELFIE
(And this is probably the worst part of all)
[Beat drops]

Can you guys help me pick a filter?
I don't know if I should go with XX Pro or Valencia
I wanna look tan
(Hmmm... maybe some sun??)
What should my caption be?

I want it to be clever
How about "Livin' with my *******, hash tag LIVE"
(OMG cuz that is soooo clever like #YEAH #SMARTBAE)
I only got 10 likes in the last 5 minutes

Do you think I should take it down?
(Bust it for the likes, bust it open for the likessss)
LET ME TAKE ANOTHER SELFIE


[Beat drops]

Wait, pause, Jason just liked my selfie
What a creep
(Well, since you seem to be obsessing over this guy, I wonder what that says about you...)
Is that guy sleeping over there?

Yeah, the one next to the girl with no shoes on
That's so ratchet
(OH THE IRONYYYY)
That girl is such a fake model

She definitely bought all her Instagram followers
Who goes out on Mondays?
(.-. you?)
OK, let's go take some shots

Oh no, I feel like I'm gonna throw up
Oh wait, nevermind I'm fine
Let's go dance
(Either she's drunk or her attention span is similar to that of a squirrel in its adolescent stage)
There's no vodka at this table

Do you know anyone else here?
Oh my god, Jason just texted me
Should I go home with him?
I guess I took a good selfie
(What the hell am I hearing like fuh real? Being this shallow should be a crime)
Selfie [on repeat]

LET ME TAKE A SELFIE

Okay, yeah... this is officially the WORST dance track of 2013. Hands down.


2. Dance The Pain Away By Benny Benassi (ft. John Legend)
Benny Benassi is not just a DJ, but a man that knows what he's doing when it comes to music. He's been behind songs like "Satisfaction," "Beautiful People (ft Chris Brown)" and "Cinema (ft Gary Go)." "Cinema," especially, was a song that I though was lyrically amazing because it was just beautifully written. This song is more relevant to raving, but this time with a John Legend spin. John Legend has one of the best voices of our time. It's so smooth and effortlessly on point. Not only that, but John Legend is an incredibly talented songwriter and that's probably why this song was able to achieve such a perfect balance that it became a favorite of mine.

This is one of the BEST dance tracks of 2013. 


3. Bassline Junkie By Dizzee Rascal
This is one of those that sounds ridiculous but is sooo worthy of a mention because while the lyrics weren't exactly awe inspiring nor clean, they were really clever. Not only that, but it's a track that FORCES you to dance. You know those people that wear headphones and walk around showing no expression or anything? This song isn't for them if they don't wanna make a fool of themselves at the bus stop. Without further ado, I'll let the words speak for themselves.

                                                                  "Bassline Junkie"

Hey turn the bass up, turn the bass up
Big dirty stinking bass, dirty stinking bass
Big dirty stinking bass,
Dirty, dirty stinking,
Big dirty stinking bass, dirty stinking bass
Big dirty stinking bass,
Bass, bass, bass, bass

[Chorus:]
I don’t need no speed, no
I don’t need no heroin, no thanks
I don’t want no coke, not today
You can keep your ketamine, yeah
I’m a bassline junkie, what?
I’m a bassline junkie, tell them again
I’m a bassline junkie, tell them again
And I like it funky

Don't touch it, who told you to touch it?
I will ******* kill you, don't ever touch that **** again

I’m a fiend for a big dirty bassline
When I hear one I have a great time
A bit of butterman's all I require
I let the bassline take me higher
My friends think that it’s a bad habit, damn it
If you take my bass away
I’ll blow your ******* face away, easy!
You might think I’m over the top
But when I hear that bassline drop
I just can’t control my actions
But I still feel satisfaction
So don’t come around here whinging
I just wanna hear the bassline rinsin
Or we can just skank out all day
If not get the **** out my way

[Chorus:]
I don’t need no speed, no
I don’t need no heroin, no thanks
I don’t want no coke, not today
You can keep your ketamine, yeah
I’m a bassline junkie, what?
I’m a bassline junkie, tell them again
I’m a bassline junkie, tell them again
And I like it funky
Big dirty stinking bass, dirty stinking bass
Big dirty stinking bass,
Dirty, dirty stinking,
Big dirty stinking bass, dirty stinking bass
Big dirty stinking bass,
Bass, bass, bass

The other day I got an ASBO order
And I think it’s well out of order
All my neighbors throwing a fit
So I told them **** my ****
And I told them I got the power
And I turn the music up louder
All night till 6 in the morning
Old bastards, they just boring
You know me, I’m the bassline father
Nobody can tell me neither
And the police turned up and they took me
We drove out to the nick and they booked me
Then they said they'd give me a caution
If I didn’t give them no distortion
But I said don’t bother, I’m guilty
And my bassline's ******* filthy

[Chorus:]
I don’t need no speed, no
I don’t need no heroin, no thanks
I don’t want no coke, not today
You can keep your ketamine, yeah
I’m a bassline junkie, what?
I’m a bassline junkie, tell them again
I’m a bassline junkie, tell them again
I don’t like it funky
Big dirty stinking bass, dirty stinking bass
Big dirty stinking bass,
Dirty, dirty stinking,
Big dirty stinking bass, dirty stinking bass
Big dirty stinking bass,
Bass, bass, bass
Bass, bass, bass
Bass, bass, bass.



4. Bring The Noize By M.I.A
This song would have beaten "Dance The Pain Away," however it's profanity inhibited its progress in my charts. What a shame. At any rate, I found a clean version that I will post because I'm a huge M.I.A fan and she always has really good songs. This song is probably one of her best and it highlighted her lyrical abilities as a rapper- abilities that aren't always evident in the music she makes.


That's been the dance tracks... stay tuned for the Rap best and worst. Was gonna add it to this one but... I've got SOO MUCH TO SAY on how disappointed I was in 2013 that I thought I would give myself a whole post to rant. 

Love Always <3,
Katrina Lowell



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